Wanting Change Without Knowing How

Most people know they want something to change long before they know what to do about it. The wanting comes first. The clarity comes much later. In between is a stretch of time that feels restless, confusing, and often discouraging. You can sense that your current way of living no longer fits, but you don’t yet have a clear alternative.

This is where many people get stuck.

You feel the desire for change, but you don’t have a realistic plan. Advice like “just decide,” “raise your standards,” or “manifest it” sounds motivating at first, but quickly becomes frustrating. Wanting change is not the same thing as knowing how to change, and pretending otherwise often leads to self-blame.

There is also a quieter problem. When you don’t know how change happens, you tend to assume the issue is you. You must lack discipline. Or confidence. Or motivation. But most of the time, it’s none of those things; it boils down to a lack of structure. When desire isn’t supported by structure, it doesn’t become action. It becomes rumination.

I’ve learned that wanting is information. It tells you that something within you is ready to move. What’s missing is a bridge between intention and behavior, something that helps the brain translate desire into concrete steps.

That bridge is what Thursday’s post is about. I’m introducing a simple, research-backed framework called WOOP that explains why so many goals stall at the wishing stage and how to move past it without relying solely on willpower. If you’ve ever felt motivated but still stuck, this one will give you something concrete to work with.